Ah, how I find myself here again on another random morning, unable to sleep. That will change soon, however, because I have just taken a shot of Nyquil. I must stop relying on that, as I have taken it the last 4-5 nites. On my own behalf, I am getting over the worst sinus infection I have ever had. Granted it could have been over a LOT sooner had my dad actually listened to my cries of misery & let me go to the doctor. But in the mean time, I took every medicine imaginable in this house to no avail. I was sick for 2 weeks before my dad finally let me go to the doctor. Gotta love it.

Being sick has left me with the dish divver as my companion, along with one of the most uncomfortable couches you will ever sit on.. but it's better than trying to sit against the wall in my bed. I took this precious time to catch up on a plethora of chic flicks which only leave me in more of a blah mood. My favorite out of all the ones I've watched this last week or so is The Holiday. Oh, how I find Jude Law irresistible in this movie.. it must have something to do with his character, Graham, because I do not on a normal day find him sexy. Maybe it's due to the fact that he cheated with his nanny lol. I suppose I'm so drawn to this movie because I secretly wish I could just get away from it all for 2 weeks in a foreign place (& keep the accent while we're at it!). Then maybe my own Graham would appear! HAH! Like a guy like that really exists. I hate movies that make you wish you had a guy that was so.. for lack of a better word, perfect. A guy that would just sweep you off your feet, saying the right things at the right times, being attentive, romantic, passionate, etc etc.. get your head out of the clouds because that will NEVER happen! But a girl can wish & hope.. right? Ah, who am I kidding?

I curse those childish dreams I had of this "perfect" guy coming along, sweeping me off my feet, suprising me with an idealistic proposal.. & we would live happily ever after. Maybe I just have high expectations & the blame is on no one else but me for that. But now thanks to the numerous setbacks I have had, the timeline I had so perfectly planned for my life is way off track. Where did I go wrong?

The Nyquil is kicking in.. it's harder to think of how to get my jumbled & random thoughts from my head to make sense in this entry.

Labels: chic flic, goals, life, perfect guy, sick, the holiday, unrealistic dreams